Songs Vulpinised
Feb 22, 2013 1:02:51 GMT -6
Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2013 1:02:51 GMT -6
Because this first one is totally necessary for my profile.
Fandom: Sort of ... everything and nothing. You'll see.
Characters: Reynard, archetypal fox in European literature (main singer); chorus composed of Fox Sister from a certain East Asian folktale, Da Ji from Institution of the Gods, Honest John Foulfellow of Disney's Pinocchio, and Miles "Tails" Prower from the Sonic franchise, plus a reference to Youko Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho.
Rating: G
Summary: A song extolling the virtues of foxhood (based on "Professional Pirates")
Notes: I didn't change very many of the lines, though I did feel very pleased with those I did change (especially "cruise to foreign shores" to "new sensations to explore"). Anyway I've been wanting to do this forever (or at least soon after I heard the original), and it was fun.
Professional Foxes
Reynard
When I was just a kit,
Searching for my true vocation,
My father said: "Now son, this choice
Deserves deliberation!
Though you could be a doctor -
Or perhaps, a financier! -
My boy, why not consider
A more challenging career?"
Chorus
Hey ho ho!
There's new sensations to explore!
And you'll keep your mind and body strong
By living out-of-doors!
Reynard
True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without!
Chorus
And when you're a professional vulpine -
Honest John
What else is life about?
Reynard
Now take Youko Kurama:
The demons all despise him!
But to the humans, he's a hero,
And they idolise them!
It's how you look at kitsune
That makes us bad or good! -
And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood!
Chorus
Hey ho ho!
We're honourable beasts!
And before we lose our tempers
We will count to ten at least!
Reynard
On occasion you may find someone
Whose crowing you must mute;
Chorus
But when you're a professional vulpine -
Honest John
You don't have to wear a suit!
(All look at his clothes.)
What?
Fox Sister
I could have been a surgeon -- I like taking folks apart!
Da Ji
I could have been a lawyer, but I just had too much heart.
Honest John
I could have been in politics; for I've always been a big spender!
Tails
And me! I could still be a contender!
(Others laugh.)
Reynard
Some say the fox is wicked!
And should be feared and hated.
I say, we're victims of bad press -
It's all exaggerated!
We'd never take your skull or liver -
We'd never lie, or steal;
And we'd never make your feathered friends
Our next unwilling meal!
Chorus
Hey ho ho!
It's one for all for one!
And we'll share and share alike with you
And love you like a son!
Reynard
We're cunning and we're beautiful -
That's what we're proud to be!
Chorus
And when you're a professional vulpine:
Reynard
You'll be honest, brave and free!
The soul of decency!
You'll be loyal and fair
And on the square!
And most importantly:
Chorus
When you're a professional vulpine
You're always in the best of company!
(Professional Foxes. Become one today.)
Professional Foxes
Fandom: Sort of ... everything and nothing. You'll see.
Characters: Reynard, archetypal fox in European literature (main singer); chorus composed of Fox Sister from a certain East Asian folktale, Da Ji from Institution of the Gods, Honest John Foulfellow of Disney's Pinocchio, and Miles "Tails" Prower from the Sonic franchise, plus a reference to Youko Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho.
Rating: G
Summary: A song extolling the virtues of foxhood (based on "Professional Pirates")
Notes: I didn't change very many of the lines, though I did feel very pleased with those I did change (especially "cruise to foreign shores" to "new sensations to explore"). Anyway I've been wanting to do this forever (or at least soon after I heard the original), and it was fun.
Professional Foxes
Reynard
When I was just a kit,
Searching for my true vocation,
My father said: "Now son, this choice
Deserves deliberation!
Though you could be a doctor -
Or perhaps, a financier! -
My boy, why not consider
A more challenging career?"
Chorus
Hey ho ho!
There's new sensations to explore!
And you'll keep your mind and body strong
By living out-of-doors!
Reynard
True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without!
Chorus
And when you're a professional vulpine -
Honest John
What else is life about?
Reynard
Now take Youko Kurama:
The demons all despise him!
But to the humans, he's a hero,
And they idolise them!
It's how you look at kitsune
That makes us bad or good! -
And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood!
Chorus
Hey ho ho!
We're honourable beasts!
And before we lose our tempers
We will count to ten at least!
Reynard
On occasion you may find someone
Whose crowing you must mute;
Chorus
But when you're a professional vulpine -
Honest John
You don't have to wear a suit!
(All look at his clothes.)
What?
Fox Sister
I could have been a surgeon -- I like taking folks apart!
Da Ji
I could have been a lawyer, but I just had too much heart.
Honest John
I could have been in politics; for I've always been a big spender!
Tails
And me! I could still be a contender!
(Others laugh.)
Reynard
Some say the fox is wicked!
And should be feared and hated.
I say, we're victims of bad press -
It's all exaggerated!
We'd never take your skull or liver -
We'd never lie, or steal;
And we'd never make your feathered friends
Our next unwilling meal!
Chorus
Hey ho ho!
It's one for all for one!
And we'll share and share alike with you
And love you like a son!
Reynard
We're cunning and we're beautiful -
That's what we're proud to be!
Chorus
And when you're a professional vulpine:
Reynard
You'll be honest, brave and free!
The soul of decency!
You'll be loyal and fair
And on the square!
And most importantly:
Chorus
When you're a professional vulpine
You're always in the best of company!
(Professional Foxes. Become one today.)
