Today was the anniversary of the worst thing that had ever happened to her and the worst thing she had ever done. The normally bright eyed and bushy tailed Scott was a sad shell of her usual self, and it didn't help matters that she didn't even have a place to go. A way to apologize for her past. No instead she would have to fight the city's crime, see her friends, and pretend to be happy.
She was a poor pretender but this was a secret she feared getting out... If they knew she might lose the only family she had. For her own protection she would have to try harder.
Ink looked in the mirror and made sure her eyes weren't red and no sign of the tears remained. She even tried a weak smile, and with that plastered to her face she went out into the common room, and hoped the glue would hold.
A chair clattered to the floor as he stood immediately with a grand greeting flourish, catching sight of Ink from his seat. Flushing madly at his disturbance of the morning peace and a'righting the fallen seat, a rather chipper greeting rang out to Ink from the part of the dining room table visible from the Common Room in the kitchen, which ended on a rather macabre note. Despite the boy's cheerful intentions, he couldn't help that some phrases meant different things altogether in the surface-world..
"Greetings and goodmorn, Milady! I trust Milady was sleeping with the fishes!" cried a particular, pleasantly surprised Atlantean prince, referring to the soundness and depth of restful slumber he imagined she had had last night. He looked up from the bowl of Shredded Wheat he was polishing off. Speedy had introduced the tasteless cereal as 'Shredded Bread in Baby Form', a name which the aquatic sea Titan still had faith would make more sense if he just kept prodding at the dry brick with his spoon.
...
Speedy had also had the good nature to refrain from introducing Aqualad to milk.
Ink turned her plastered grin to her friend and felt a bit of real warmth creep into it at his awkward antics knocked over the chair. Tough the whole delicate expression threatened to crumble off her face at sleeping with the fishes. An unintentional slap in the face. She faltered for a moment before spying his dry cereal and without a word she went into the kitchen and pulled out the milk and anther bowl and spoon. As she poured her own bowl of baby bread she reapplied her smile and went back to Aqualad. "yea gotta add milk yea doober." she said in an extra chipper tone, over compensating for her mood.
The seaman, puzzled, frowned in thought about this new application of 'milk'. It wasn't like he hadn't heard the word at all, but the concept of pouring it, and cold, into this morning repast was rather strange, considering he had not yet encountered the landdweller's milk source; the cow. He understood (or thought he did) at the very least that mammal's mothers, including his own, must have been the source of all this bounty! "Good Milady, what manner of sea-creature do ye harvest this 'milk' for the breaking of fast from!? How long and arduous the task of procuring nourishment slated for its young for this express purpose...I know not whether I would survive it, and am grateful not to be expected to fill such a deadly sounding position!" he asked incredulously, once again bringing in themes of death without knowing the Mood du Jour. Aqualad's words held a bit of an air of jest to them, though one devious enough could still convince him that whales, manatees or porpoises were being hoarded for their mothering milk at different outposts throughout Landman's Land. The boy was less grossed out than fascinated.
Unless it turned out the practice really was fatal in some cases.
Then he'd have to go all kinds of animal-activist on these landdwellers.
Deadly sounding position... another crack in her falsely cheerful demeanor. Her responding laugh was a bit to high and a tad forced. " nay lad et comes from cows... the land beast. They make milk, an farmers...um harvest et." she said as she chased her quickly deteriorating cereal around her bowl. She didn't dare take a bite out of fear that she would choke because of the lump growing in her throat. " Ets nay deadly, she said faltering a bit "the cows need et tae stay healthy, an ets beneficial tae both parties. They stay healthy an we get stuff for our cereal."
"Ahh..the 'cow', it lends itself to mutual, nutritional camraderies of the most life-giving sort! Extraordinary." he smiled, tasting his 'baby bread' and grinning wider, after his short respite from the death-theme. The 'milk' certainly helped the dryness, and the flavourless Shredded Wheat could use all the help it could get. Speedy was being stingy with the more exciting cereals like Reese's Puffs and Lucky Charms, or else the Atlantean prince would have sampled all the cereally wonders from Kellogg's to Kashi by now. "A most scrumptious sacrifice! Would that the good beings be unhindered in providing for their children afterwards." Aqualad munched happily as he placidly ruminated on that thought, much like a bovine being himself.
She would not cry. She would not cry. She. Would. Not. Cry.... or at least that's what she told herself as she fought back tears. Trying to conceal the internal fight by looking straight down and letting her hair slide down as a curtain between them. Apparently karma would not let her rush through this day without being cut open by her closest friend. "Oh aye." she replied her voice hitching a bit as the sound fought its way out. She would not cry.... if she started she wouldn't stop and she had a job to do. She would not cry, and with closed eyes she could almost believe that one salty drop of water didn't fall from her eye into her inedible bowl of mush.
Brooks was an expert salt-water whisperer. True genius had absolutely no idea of the circumstances, yet could still produce impressive results. Depending on who you asked, his string of hapless phrases had caught their hook in Ink's heart and reeled in her emotions to the surface in what could be called, impressive.
He looked up from his contented munching, to late to see, but almost able to sense the miniscule splash into her cereal bowl; would it become a sorrowful ripple effect he'd unintentionally set off in the course of this fishing venture?
The mood had changed, hadn't it? Was there baby-bread stuck in her throat, or had that been a break in her lovely, lilting voice? Aqualad craned his neck to the side and down, trying to examine Ink's face, but too shy to take the next step and reveal it from it's deep red curtain with, how dare he, his fingers? Inconceivable.
But he'd definitely heard it. The sound of the tear splashing? The sound of her heart spilling? The sound of her heart breaking into her bowl could not be overlooked. It wasn't as if he was the quickest to pick up on such things.
The lowering of her head. The slump of her shoulders. That was why Aqualad tried to pay more attention to these things. He was a fan of education.
"...cuid Milady bae feelin' rather doon..?" he fretted in a bit of a fond lilt, despite himself and given his equally fond company. Simple, inquisitive, searching.
It was yet to be determined whether or not he had an equally strong knack to whisper tears away.
"Aye" she whispered, her voice a bit raspy as she tried to stop the second and third tear that found its way down her face. She tried to calm herself as more traitorous drops escaped the prison of her eyes, and tried to push the memories back but that just brought more swirling forward... Her father comforting her when she hurt herself, her father leading the way through ancient forests, her father teaching her how to ride a bike, her father laughing, being proud, happy, alive.
Splash. Splash splash. Splash.
"Aye" she repeated softer. "just a little doon" she added with a snort of depreciative laughter at herself, a little doon didn't even begin to describe how she felt. She moved her hand up behind her protective wall of red and wiped at her eyes a bit forcefully, like she could shove the tears back in and just make them go away. She was beaten but she wouldn't admit it. She would stop crying, she could get through the day, Garth would not find out. She kept her eyes closed and her face hidden, if she couldn't see the world then it couldn't see her at her lowest.
Last Edit: Jan 31, 2013 19:03:44 GMT -6 by Deleted
Garth felt as if he were being walloped in the stomach by some malevolent whale’s tail, attached to a polar ice cap, with each tear she spent on the yet unknown pain in her heart. Why was she crying!? Where was she hurt?!
His mouth gaped open in a dumb fish face. It shut. He tried again… …his jaw stayed lax, but no utterance came forth.
Could he forgo inbred propriety to console her at all? Could he just become a boy, worried about a girl? His hands seemed to think so.
One, trembling fingers resisting to the end, then the other, its fingers slightly more assured, parted the waves of the vertical red sea as his confused obsidian eyes sought out the Ink’s damp ones.
He tried again.
”Wuid..w-wuid that Milady un-parcel her agony tae mae..?” he croaked, clearing his throat a bit. The prince...the boy, allowed his fingers to advance just near enough to her cheeks to wipe what remained of the girl’s refusal to leave behind her heart-hurt evidence on her face, fingers barely but surely making faint contact with her skin, before he realized he could just water-manipulate the tears off, and they recoiled at once, the boy’s own face hot with shame.
"Ets nothin lad" she said with a sniff as she tried to get a grip on herself. Just breathe. Calm. she ordered herself, and she nearly had the edge of her mask back before she felt the tentative touch of fingers to her cheek. Surprised at the comforting but brief contact she opened her eyes and looked up into his, not knowing why he looked so ashamed. Maybe he was remembering what had happened when he hadn't told her what was wrong and the consequences of that choice. It wasn't fair to do the same thing to him, but she didn't know if it was fair to unload her burden on him as well.
They said talking would help. Even tried to get her to talk before she came to the states... that hadn't worked so well, but maybe if she talked to a friend. A close friend who understood her, maybe then it would help. Just breathe. Calm. she thought again taking a minute to stifle her tears and snifflings to where she could communicate.
With a ragged breath she relented " Ahm sorry Garth... ets just... today es.... well today es the anniversary o mae father's..." She struggled to say the words out loud, and tears threatened to fall from her eyes again until she wiped her eyes again so as not to give them the chance. " death...." she chocked over the last word as she looked from his eyes to the table. Ashamed.
The prince's mind immediately swam muddily to all his unfortunate commentary so far, and he winced.
He felt like an evil squid-beast from that popular Disney movie. "O! Seek I forgiveness! A pauper am I! A pauper of propriety! How my foolish discourse transported Milady into distress, like a rocky raft..."
Brooks felt...like Ursula. "Poison that I have spoken pains her deeply! This news of her relations-lost, the woe upon this day, for it all I wish to..."
What, 'offer his condolences?'
Somehow, that sounded less than sincere. Even if his people would consider it a great honour for a son of Triton to stoop so low as to offer them condolences, with Ink, it felt different.
He had to convey what stiff words couldn't.
"Milady's grief. It's woeful fingers reach out; it constricts this heart of mine."
Could he coax her into telling him more? Would it be too cruel to?
"Might we...delve deeper into the source of your pains, together?" It was too fresh to get rid of the effect of his words, but maybe by talking about her pain, Garth could start the antidote brewing for the effect of her father's death that still plagued her after so long. Or, if it were a more recent demise, start the antidote to soothe a pain that would still turn to time for healing in the end.
Poison had to be leeched as soon as possible.
Brooks held her gaze, wanting ever so much to touch her again as emboldened from the first sweep against her cheek, but keeping that shameful thought under.
"Ets nay yer fault" she said softly as he tried to ask for forgiveness. It wasn't anyone's fault but her own. A new emotion wove itself into her grief and dried her eyes a bit... she was ashamed. Ashamed she had cried, ashamed she was going to talk, ashamed for hurting her friend but mostly ashamed of her past.
"Ahm sorry lad, ah didnay mean tae burden yea." she whispered her voice dry as it worked around the burning ball that was still lodged in her throat even if she had quelled her tears. Her pain was her own, she didn't need to hurt her friends with it.
But then he asked to know more, actually asked to know more about what had happened. She glanced briefly up into his eyes before seeking the safety of the judgeless table, at his hand that had wiped her tears just a few moments before. If she told him would he ever extend a gesture of friendship again? Not tellling him though was eating her from the inside out. The story had a mind of its own and it would crawl from her lips even if it was the last thing she ever said to her dear friend.
" Ets mae fault... all mae fault" she whispered so soft she wasn't even sure it would be heard. She had known it was her fault since the day she woke up, but this was the first time she had ever said it out loud.
She pushed the heels of her hands to her eyes. Saying it was so much worse then thinking it. To hear her own voice admit her darkest secret... It released the pent up emotions inside of her. She cried as softly, her shoulders shaking as she just let go.... More to be ashamed of later.
Aqualad: She just kept blaming herself over and over again…
Digging deeper had sounded like such a sensible option just moments earlier. He had to trust his gut. Well…he had no experience with consoling the downtrodden. At least, not intentionally.
He would have to trust it and train it at the same time, then, and that began with following through.
”Milady Ink is too kind to give her burden quarter to smart her so, alone. She must not consider herself culpable. What fault of her’s could possibly had transpired to bring about the death of one so dear?” he pried, adamantly denying the girl’s continuous self-blame.
His fingers twitched; his arms rose like a zombie’s, hovering over her shaking shoulders in an awkward prelude. It was as if those hands would nosedive any moment to quell the trembling body of the self-proclaimed guilty party before the boy. And then, they did. They simply fell.
Aqualad was no physicist, but he had the notion that maybe, just maybe, his own nervous shaking could cancel out Ink’s.
Ink barely heard his words as she drowned in her own sorrow. The ones that did though she disputed in her head as she cried herself out. A process that was sped considerably by the comforting contact of his hands to her shoulders. They gave her something to lean into, something good to feel. Even with her hands it took her a while for her shaking to subside, her eyes to dry, and to pull herself back together. The gates had been opened and it was time to tell the story she had kept to herself for a year.
"Ahm the reason he died." she whispered hoping his hands would stay to lend her a point to focus on even though she wasn't crying anymore. " We were happy till last year... when they came for us." she added her voice sounding worn out. "Ah dant even know who 'they' are... Ah have nae way tae find oot.... nae way tae avenge mae father" she said, keeping her eyes on the table.
Already she felt bad for how she was handling this. It wasn't fair to Garth to put him through all this drama of her history.
OOC: Tried not to focus on her sobbing woe-is-me bit there kenners... time lapse was maybe 10 minutes Im guessing
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The roleplay takes place after the series end of the original Teen Titans animated show, but does not include the movie Trouble in Tokyo. Since then Robin has been on something of a recruiting spree, and many new young heroes have found themselves a home in Jump City as well as Titan Tower.
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