Sad Sunshine [Penumbra]

[Elenaphant]

The common room was empty. There was a training session going on at the gym, and some other things Starfire hadn't had the will to keep track of, but she knew the Tower wasn't likewise deserted. She had hoped somewhere in her heart that the place would have at least one other person, even if tensions lately between herself and the people she called a team were high. That may have been mostly her fault. Ever since the New Year celebration she hasn't quite been herself; a notion that was very human. She could be no one else but herself. What she was now was a version of herself that her team was not used to.

She moved through the common room feet firmly planted on the ground. Her emotions would not allow her to float across like she usually did. It's been hard to experience that lift when the monsters who held her down for so long were now threatening a new home. Her fingers brushed against the surfaces and textures level to her hand as she passed. It was the feeling of home, and it was so fragile. Her hands could destroy them with hardly any effort. The Citadel looked upon Earth the same way, but they lacked her sentiment. 

As she came closer to the floor to ceiling windows the sun warmed her skin. It was a beautiful day; the kind of day that would have had her excited to be outside, or be alive. They called her energetic but it was true; the sun was like a life-force and it revitalized her. She should have been so happy. She looked out at the view of the city that was at a distance, but still the Tower watched over it, much like the Titans did. Tears began to roll down her cheeks, and soon the quiet of the room turned to soft sobbing. 

She didn't want to lose them. This was her home, and she lacked hope that she could spare it from the fate of her planet.

Tag: @twitchymcjoe

[Deleted]

Usually, Penumbra would be curled up in a corner reading a book or running around rooftops in an effort to attain his peak physical condition for crime fighting, but today he was sitting invisibly on the couch in the common-room and day-dreaming about taking Batgirl on a date. It was only when everyone was busy that he could sneak off into usually crowded room to steal his favorite spot on the couch; later everyone would return to find that their seats were taken up by the invisible bulk of our favorite vigilante gun-slinger. Then again, he was the only vigilante gun-slinger in the Teen Titans since Robin has issues with firearms. It's like Robin - who is just a budget Batman - can't accept that people use different fighting methods to combat crime!

As Penumbra day-dreamed, he noticed someone entering the room. The usually chipper alien, Starfire, didn't seem herself. Penumbra would've thought she'd been body snatched if he didn't know better by body language and, realistically, the fact that wouldn't couldn't happen. First off, he noticed something peculiar: she wasn't flying across the room. Furthermore, adding to the idea that she was sad, Penumbra noticed Starfire touching things. He'd exhibited the same behavior when Annette died, but his emotions grew into self destructive rage.

By the time Penumbra processed this, Starfire was crying, and he was wondering what he should do. In a similar situation, someone might stay hidden and never tell the teammate they saw them crying. If Robin were crying, Penumbra wouldn't dare show his face; he would change his behavior toward him though. Being a leader is tough, isn't it? Starfire though? Why would he hide from someone who probably did need someone to talk to. One of the perks of being invisible is the ability to make an entrance like none other: in an illusory cloud of smoke, his body materialized from the floor up to where he was sitting on the couch. "Are you all right, Starfire?"

"Oh," He rubbed the back of his head and looked down apologetically. "I'm Penumbra. I'm not sure you'd remember meeting me or not."

[Elenaphant]

Starfire was somewhat startled by the sudden voice. She had thought she was alone, but as she turned around she saw that in fact, she was not. She blinked a bit in momentary distraction of her feelings and to clear some of the tears blurring her vision. "I have... seen you before," she said, taking a moment to compose herself, sniffling and wiping away her eyes. "I always look at the roster of new frie--Titans," she said, trying to offer him a smile. It was small. "We just have not had the chance to be put together in any scenario. The team is growing quite large." This was not a bad thing. Starfire was someone who rejoiced in a growing amount of company.

Though, it was time to get to the harder part of the conversation. They couldn't get get around the fact he caught her crying. Starfire initially thought of trying to dismiss it, but she was never a good liar, and Tamaraneans shared their feelings or suffered in silence. Starfire had been doing too much of the latter. "I am... not the 'all right'. The new development of an invasion has brought up some... terrible memories. I have been struggling to feel the 'all right' since the turn of this year."

She sighed heavily, her heart obviously burdened. "It is not easy. I know there is no shame in feeling sad, but I have been changed by the resurgence of these memories. The only time I fly is when I am in battle, and that is only because there is a part of me that enjoys the release of my fury in violence," she admitted, and shook her head. "I probably am not making the best example of a strong Titan right now."

[Deleted]

For a moment, Penumbra thought he saw Starfire jump in surprise, but he expected that. People who are going through turbulent times tend to try tactfully avoiding people - unless that person needs someone to talk to - which sometimes makes problems worse. Listening close to the words echoing in the empty room, Penumbra was torn as he spoke and held out his scarf as a handkerchief, "Starfire, if you need someone to talk to, and even if you don't, consider me a friend." With his mind made up, Penumbra removed his hat and mask with a cordial smile. "And my friends call me Alphy."

At the moment, it didn't (well, hardly) matter to Alphy that any other Titan could walk in here and see who he really was. It was still a hard decision to let another team member know who he really was since it could have dire consequences on him, his family, or his friends if someone could somehow read her mind, but Starfire didn't need Penumbra right now; she needed Alphonse Carey. "T-there was one time last year that I failed to help someone. I failed a lot of people, and I almost did something really stupid. No matter what mask we hide behind, Starfire, we're all people," Alphy struggled to form those words, but managed to communicate his point. "Besides, New Years is always tough on all of us. W-we have regrets, and we remember the past, but there's something else that I think you're forgetting. You're burying something with all those horrific memories. Do you know what that is?"

As the conversation continued, he smiled and waved his hand with an illusion-sparkle. "It's hope! Really, try thinking about those things that you miss and enjoy, and I can help you experience those things again." He stopped and looked down semi-apologetically. "Well people don't usually like me messing with their heads, but I think a little look at what there is to fight and pray for might help both of us, no?"

[Elenaphant]

His gesture of taking off his mask touched Starfire. It was not lost on her the amount of trust and vulnerability revealing a face meant in this line of business. Starfire did not recognize him, but it was nice to see a person's face, read their expressions, and watch them open up. As he spoke to her, relating his own experience, she stood and respectfully listened without interruption. He was also sympathizing with her, and trying to make her feel better about what had happened--or so that was what she thought. Did he know the damage she caused? Did he know the lives she took that night? If he knew her story, would he think she was justified too?

Then, with a flourish of his hand, he brought a halt to those thoughts and distracted her with shiny. She hadn't quite known his capabilities, but it almost sounded like... he could bring those memories up for her. She bit the bottom of her lip. Messing with ones head... like Raven could? She didn't know but his intention seemed good, and he had trusted her with his face; perhaps she should try and trust him with his power.

"You are not able to... see, are you?" she asked a little uncertainly. "My memories, that is--the bad ones I do not wish to share. Though, if you are able to help me recall and... hope again..." Her powers were tied with her emotions. It may be worth it to feel something positive. "I would appreciate it."