When I'm lonesome.

[Deleted]

The silence of the Carey household was deafening as the pitter-patter of rain softly echoed through the halls and off the crystalline window panes. It'd been a short time since Annette passed away, Alphy tried to rid the world of himself, and now he was in a wheelchair. It was hard to get around, but he managed to get himself down to his family library in the freight elevator. Usually, he'd have taken the stairs. Even now, he sat in front of the fireplace with his legs covered in a blanket and a book.

Although the building itself hadn't changed much since Anne's demise, the atmosphere of the house seemed much darker. The windows were draped and lights were off. Far less often were the doors open, and scarcely a laugh met the walls. Dreary despite the wealth; silent despite the life. That was the Carey residence now. It wasn't any wonder why the immobilized Alphonse had his T-comm on the table next to him. Even if he couldn't leave, he could offer information and advice if anyone needed it. He was that little voice in the Shadows while he healed.

It was a miracle that Robin, upon finding out what happened, didn't kill him. Everything almost seemed normal. One crucial difference was that Barbara Gordon now had a key to the residence, even though she didn't need one. Alphy tried to talk to her more often now. Part of him hoped that Barbara didn't think that he was trying to fill the void that Anne left with her, because he honestly wasn't. Barbara was the only person who knew his identity, and she was the only person who he felt like he could hold an intelligent conversation with.

When Alphy looked over at the clock, he heard it chime. Silently he wondered, Will Babs show up today?



((Related Music))

[Aly]

Rain was not a friend of the roof-jumpers of Jump City. It made the footing slippery, and the last thing Batgirl needed was to break an ankle. It was bad enough to have one wheelchair-bound Titan. So, to get across town, Barbara took the motorcycle. Though rain still wasn't a friend, she didn't have any other options. Well, she could have asked Cyborg for a ride, but she could take care of herself.

It took her almost a whole trip around the house to find a window that wasn't locked shut. Yes, she had a key to the Carey household now, but she didn't like just waltzing in. Maybe that is a poor choice of words when she preferred to break in through a window. It's not like Frances didn't know. Or Alphy himself. As she crawled through the window, water dropped from her soaked clothing onto the wood floor. Hopefully Frances wouldn't mind. She couldn't be sure, though, with recent events. Maybe she wouldn't have minded before, but now she could go crazy on her for it. Barbara carefully and silently shut the window behind her before making her way down the hall, trying to keep the squishing of her shoes at a minimum.

Peeking into the library, she found that her guess had been correct. Alphy was sitting there, looking like an old man with his little blanket across his lap in that wheelchair. A small smile crossed her lips as she slunk in, closing the door back behind her. "You seem to have aged in your healing, Alphy. Or is it Alphonse, now?" As she passed him, she ruffled his hair with a smile before plopping down on the chair opposite, grateful for the fire the blazed in the fireplace next to them.

[Deleted]

A dripping, squeaking sound alerted Alphy that someone was behind him. "Do I look that old, Barbie?" He stuck his tongue out and turned to examine his friend. Unsurprisingly, she was soaking wet. "Haven't you ever heard of doors?" Alphy smirked and looked over at her in the chair, "I left my window unlocked for you. I see, based on the dirt, that didn't stop you from climbing through a window sill." He lifted up his book for Barbara to see. It was something that he'd only read in passing, but it was about time he read the full The Behavior of Organisms by B.F. Skinner. Despite what he suspected Barbara would think, he wasn't dissecting his own actions that caused others great concern. Raw information was what he sought. If he ever wanted enlightenment or meaning, he could find it in a church or shrine.

After showing Barbara, he set it on the table between them and pointed to a piece of paper there. "So," he rolled towards her and lifted the paper up between their faces, "I want a new costume. It isn't fair that you get to look all fancy and I'm left with a tattered rag." Even in his excitement, a part of him wondered why Babs looked so tired. Maybe it was the dreariness of the house, or the droplets of water glistening on her brow, but she appeared almost a little sick. Either way, he looked a little concerned with his next, innocent questions, "You okay? Catch anyone lately?"

[Aly]

"Yes, you do, and yes I have. Doors are for the boring, the old, and the injured." Barbara rolled her eyes, and thought about giving him a playful punch in the ribs for using Kara's petname for her, but thought better about it. However, he would get it if he repeated it in front of any of the other Titans. It surprised her how little it actually bothered her. Any other person, and they would be on the floor in pain already.

As he showed her his book, she raised her eyebrows. She hadn't thought Alphy was one of the behavior-deducing type, other than preying off fear. Was this because he felt guilty, or just bored? Somehow the second option didn't stick around in her head for long. When Alphy got bored, he did something productive, not read a random book for funzies.

When he showed her the paper, though, she took it excitedly. "Oh, someone's jealous of the new threads?" She teased, leaning forward to see it better in the firelight. She liked the base, having what looked to be kevlar or some other safer material. Not just a fancy jacket like his old one. "Don't like getting shot, do you?" Her eyebrow cocked mockingly as she snuck another look back up at him. "I like that you took out the cape, though. Looks much more... sophisticated, I guess. I can help you make it, if you want. We're using your debit card, though." She winked at him and placed the paper back down on the table. He was looking at her funny, which was weird. "No, I haven't really caught anyone lately. I've been taking care of this psycho that jumped into a gunfight. And I'm fine. The dreariness of this house getting to your brain? You should turn on some more lights. It's like haunted house in here."

[Deleted]

"Well turn on the lights," Alphy smirked, "unless it's too bright, bat for brains." As he wheeled over to Barbara, he smiled and pulled up next to her rather than in front of her. He smiled, yawned, and stretched, accidentally touching Barbara's hand. Alphy recoiled quickly and turned a shade of scarlet, betraying what he felt. An apology rolled off his tongue as he rubbed the back of his neck, "S-sorry." I can't blush around Barbara, I can feel that, why am I? We're just friends now.

What happened next was a combination of planned conversation, and subconscious betrayal. "Well, if you aren't doing anything this weekend, do you want to help me make the costume," Alphy started, "we can put it together from scratch!" The accident came from Alphy's affection for Barbara. He just blurted out, "Make it a date?" His eyes widened and be blinked for a moment, slowly comprehending what he said. Backpedaling for an apology only made it worse, "Ah I didn't I mean we're just friends right? I ugh..."

[Aly]

"Oh, is someone unable to do it themselves? I don't know about you, but bats like the dark." Barbara narrowed her eyes playfully at him and nestled back in the chair, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. She was tired, to tell the truth. Something about worrying about a friend or something like that.

Alphy's stretch-turned-awkward-touch caused her to open her eyes. "Is this the movie theater? That was smooth, but it could use some work." She rolled her eyes, but smiled at his blush. Awkward Alphy was back. When he invited her to help make the costume, she was about to agree when he slipped. Oh, Alphy. Open mouth, insert foot. Memories of what had followed their first date caused her to frown. Take her out to a nice restaurant, give her jewelry, and then dump her on the sidewalk without a word to go chase some Cat tail?

"I don't know about a date. The last one went great enough." Her words came out a little more snappy than she had intended as she stood up and walked closer to the fire, pulling her hair over her shoulder and ringing it out. She had slight satisfaction as the water dropped onto the rug. Hopefully his mother would be mad at him for that. Give her a chance to transfer the inevitable chewing-out onto someone else.

[Deleted]

The sting of rejection from a friend hurt Alphy. When a guy asks a girl on a date, usually it's pride that's hurt; this wasn't a usual occasion. If he didn't talk to her about it now, he would never get the chance. So, he rolled up as fast as he could behind her and tried to knock her into his chair so he could say, "We need to talk, okay? About you, Anne, me being an idiot and making false assumptions, and hopefully getting past the fact that I made a mistake, okay?" He took a deep breath and thought about everything leading up to dating Anne instead of Barbara. His insides churned, and he explained, "I made the mistake of thinking that you were interested in someone else, I made the mistake of thinking I wasn't good enough for you, and I made the mistake of thinking that going on one date didn't mean we were dating." Taking a breath, he looked up to Barbara with sad eyes. He nodded and then clawed at his face in anguish. After a second, he mumbled, "Your turn."

[Aly]

Barbara sighed, but it turned into a squeal of surprise as he rammed into her legs from behind, causing her to fall back into his lap. It would have been cute, if they weren't arguing. Oddly, she was just thinking about how she was probably soaking his blanket right now instead of how rude that was. She adjusted herself so that she wasn't awkwardly splayed on top of him, moving so that she could see his face. Even though she was mad at him, she worried that her fall might have hurt him a bit.

Interested in someone else? What on earth would lead him to believe that? She knew that she and Robin had always had some awkward chemistry going on, but it wasn't like she was crawling around at his ankles. Even so, she couldn't believe it. She was so shocked at his first admittance that she almost missed the second. "Not good enough for me?" Her voice sounded almost hurt, but mostly shocked. She could believe that a stupid boy would think that one date didn't mean anything, but why would he think that he wasn't good enough for her? Taking his cheek in her hand, she shook him gently. "Alphy, you can't think that. About anyone. You're better than that, I know you are. You can't think so low of yourself. Heck, how many times have you saved lives? From one to hundreds? You wouldn't be able to 'not be good enough' for anyone, even if you tried. So stop it."

She sighed again, shaking her head and dropping her hand. "Why are all boys so stupid?"

[Deleted]

"T-thank you Babs." Alphy blushed a little, again, and gently took Barbara's hand. It wasn't the "awkward" grab that you could expect from "awkward Alphy". It was confident in that Barbara may forgive him. With a smile he lifted her hand in both of his and rubbed it gently, warming it. This soothing was mostly for Babs, but it helped Alphy. Calmly, he shook his head and looked directly into her emerald eyes, "Boys, as you say, are stupid, because we're told to do things other than talk about our emotions. We're supposed to be 'manly' and do 'things' but we never sit down and talk about our emotions." Sighing, he leaned in towards Barbara and tried to pull her into a hug. He could tell that she was still mad, even under all of her other emotions. She was right, in his mind, to be angry. As he leaned in within inches of her face, he sadly whispered, "That isn't an excuse for breaking your heart, is it?"

[Aly]

"I suppose." Barbara rolled her eyes, not having the heart to tell him that that wasn't what she had been referring to. All guys should know that you can't just take a girl out on a date, then start dating another one in the same week. She had hung back, not really trusting herself around him. It was probably a good thing that he was injured now, or he would be shortly. She let him rub her hand, still thinking. She wanted to forgive him, she really did. There was just no chance of jumping right back in where they had left off. He really had hurt her. If he thought he wasn't good enough for her, did he really not stop to think what that had made her think? The same exact thing about herself.

She bit her lip, wanting to say something, but for once not knowing what exactly to say. When he leaned in, though, and asked the obvious, she had to turn her head. "No." It wasn't, really. She didn't want to hurt him like she knew that would, but she just couldn't. Even if all of this stuff with Anne's death hadn't happened, it would be hard. Picking up the pieces after her death really ruined it, though.

[Deleted]

Alphy slowly let Barbara go and nodded, "You realize, you can't hold back forever, right?" He wrung his hands nervously, waiting for her to tear into him. As odd as it seems, he detests masochism. Preempting her response, he solemnly looked to the floor and stated the truth, "I don't want to be hurt, no one ever does. If we didn't we wouldn't wear armor, mental and physical alike, when we venture outside. You're my friend Barbara, so I want to help even if it hurts." Looking down, he produced the shattered remains of her necklace from his pocket. Holding it between them, he rotated it slowly so it could catch all the gilded lines in the firelight, "I know that we can't ignore what I thought, we can't go straight back to how it was, and least of all we can't ignore what I did. What we can do is sort his out, and heal."

Smirking, sadly he placed the necklace in Bab's hand, "Scar tissue is stronger anyway, I'd know" With that, he waited for Barbara to tell him the truth. She would eventually tell him, and she may yell, and it may hurt, but Alphy needed it as much as Barbara needed it.

To heal, you needed to hurt.

[Aly]

As Alphy let her go, Barbara got off his lap and sat back down on her chair. "What, do you expect me to come all out and beat you up?" She gave him a sad smile. "I'm not going to do that. And not just because you're already injured." She really wasn't that mad... she was just hurt. He voiced her feelings with a Hallmark-esque flair.

"It's fine." She shrugged and took the broken necklace from him, picking at the pieces. "I'm sorry about the necklace. It was a childish thing to do." She had thrown it in Antarctica, and she was surprised that he had taken the time to pick up all of the broken shards. Alphy was her friend, and she wanted to keep it that way. It may be awkward for a little while, but she wanted to go back to how things were before all of this, before they had even thought about dating.

[Deleted]

"If I expected that, I'd give you boxing gloves." Alphy was channeling his smart-aleck side, but he frowned as the tone of her voice punched through. Not a hint of anger or anguish inflected her vocalization, but injury and insult did. Out of all the powers he had, Alphy would trade them all to repair their friendship. It didn't have to go back to dating, it didn't have to erase Anne, and it didn't have to fix his mistakes. Alphy wanted, more than anything right now, to see her smile a real, glad smile full of life and sparkling with joy. Maybe that stupid, silly idea would transfer via the necklace.

Rolling around in a great, big circle around the chairs, Alphy "paced". Stopping in front of Barbara's chair, he rotated slowly to face her, "I've come to the conclusion that the only way we can heal is by hanging out, figuratively or from grappling hooks, and, eventually, it wont be awkward for either of us." Alphy smiled, hiding his fear and sadness behind the veil, and then pulled out the keys to his mom's Maserati, "Let's paint the town red?"

[Aly]

Barbara smiled at Alphy's attempt to lighten the mood. "We could go sometime, you know. I can't promise you won't break an arm or something, though." She couldn't stay mad at Alphy for long. Now that it was out from under the rug, she felt slightly lighter. They couldn't really hide things from each other, it just didn't work. Babs placed the crushed stone carefully in her pocket, unknowing of the effects it could have on her, and even did as he stopped his short wheeled track.

"I don't think you'll be doing much 'hanging', Alphy." Her smile widened as he pulled out the keys. Immediately, she snatched them from his fingers. "Don't think you'll do much driving, either. But I'll do the painting for you." Jumping up, Barbara spun his wheelchair around and grabbed the handles on the back. Like a kid pushing a cart in Walmart, she pushed with a burst of speed, pulling herself up and leaning over the back of his seat, her feet coming off the floor. When they were close to the door, she dropped back down so that she could maneuver him around the corner.

[Deleted]

"H-Hey!" Alphy reached towards the keys, and then fell back into his chair defeated. He didn't like the prospect of Barbara's reckless, crazy driving after the last incident left him looking up the insurance premium on a car costing more than most people's salaries in twenty years. Even worse, her tendencies to throw caution aside extended to racing the wheelchair around. Alphy yelled and laughed simultaneously, "Baaaaaabs, I'm broken, be carefullll!!!!" he hit the brake to get the chair around the corner and let her push it down the hall.

As they approached the small elevator in the corner, Alphy looked up and smiled at her, "How did you know this was here?" He mockingly put his hands to his cheeks in feigned terror, "Are YOU stalking me? So you HAVE been outside my window at night?!" Alphy loved to tease her, besides, it made up for all the awkward occasions they ended up close together. What made the situation better, was that she was smiling, and so was he.