Speedy's Room

[Silv]

Usually Robin and Speedy made a much better team then they were making today. They worked quickly despite the archer's inability to handle tools correctly and over dramatic nature. He wasn't sure what all the heart clutching and swooning was about, and the scowl he sent the archer clearly told him to get back to work and quit goofing off. Beast Boy and Batgirl were working steadily, despite holding what appeared to be a very serious conversation. They were farther from their corner then he and Speedy, and even Star and Jinx had managed to put up more boards in the time it did them. This might not be a competition but...confound Speedy!

He let loose a growl of frustration when the archer hurt himself, glaring as the other teenager said they ought to switch jobs. The Boy Wonder simply nodded that, yes, they could switch positions. Then he grabbed another board. When he turned back to where they were nailing them in he wasn't as careful as he ought to have been and the board took a swing at his ginger teammate. To anyone casually watching it looked like an accident. It wasn't, however.

Robin knew he couldn't afford a physical confrontation in front of his team, especially with time so short and a storm rolling in, but he damn well wanted one. As soon as this was over he was going to go to the gym and destroy something. Or perhaps he would go out on a solo patrol and take his anger out on people who actually deserved it and not hapless gym equipment. Smashing the board into place he gestured for Speedy to take it from him and hold it still so that he could nail it in.

[Kenni]

"ACK! H-hey, let's not get too frisky until after the work's done, Blunder Boy."
The archer took the slammed board steadily. Speedy's full attention was on finishing up his work in order to quickly be free to seek out Raven to make some semblance of an apology, or at least check to see how she was faring, if even from a distance. Therefore, Robin's scowling was duly noted and understood. He yelped at the board smacking him across the butt. Sore and rubbing, he narrowed his eyes at the Boy Wonder. He wasn't sure if that had been an accident or not, but better to give Robin the benefit of a doubt. He was impressed at the restraint his friend had had earlier, not simply knocking Speedy's lights out after being filled in on the archer's own massive blunder in judgment tonight. Being highly competitive in nature himself, Speedy just hadn't been up to his usual calibre of work-speed and knew how Robin was feeling, even though they hadn't expressly spoken to one another for the past hour. Sneaking glances at Beast Boy and Batgirl, the sore Titan speculated as to what they could possibly have to converse about in Beabst's highly volatile state besides her involvement in Speedy's debacle of Raven's feelings. At least her head wasn't being chewed off by some angry green wildcat, and it looked as though his fellow prankster was calming down a little, although Speedy knew he couldn't say the same necessarily for himself if the two boys were to have a chance to converse.

They had now met Babs and Beast in the middle of the room.

[Aly]

Batgirl nodded at Beast Boy, not sure what to say. "Thanks for not hating me as much as you could right now?" No, better not. She instead busied herself with her work, finally finishing the last board. Glancing over at Robin and Speedy, she could tell that the two were definitely going at it slower than she and Beast Boy, to Robin's obvious delight.

Wiping her hands on her super-suit, she surveyed their work. Now all they needed to do was get the outside done, and then they could put the plywood up, or do both at the same time.

When Speedy and Robin put up their last board, she took the note out of her utilitiy belt and went over to stuff it in the top of Speedy's boot. Hopefully Robin wouldn't call her out on it. She didn't really feel like explaining the note-passing to him. Winking to Speedy, she went over and picked up a sheet of plywood, ready to keep working.

[Kenni]

Since they were finished for the moment, he stretched, sending back a shy smile at Babs as their note was sent to him with a wink. The archer decided to take a break out on the roof. It would give him a chance to reply the note sure, but also to just get a minute alone. Impending storm weather aside, he would still feel better somewhere cool and free.
"Gimme a few, Chief. I'll be back in a bit to help with the ply." Without waiting for the permission granted scowl, he was off down the corridor.
As he traversed the dark hallway in which he had imagined Raven dashing through earlier, it occurred to the Titan that it really was a miracle they were alive at all, in their proper plane of existence instead of trapped in Raven's mind forever, or dead in there. At the moment, she was the person he knew an apology was due. How to even begin?
He opened the hatch to the Tower's roof, and meandered.
Opening the note he sighed, and quickly replied. They'd hit the big points so maybe this would be his last one.
'Nah, don't thank me, Babs! You don't deserve the backlash from all this that's sure to crop up and I would be no type of gentleman if I let you take it on alone. We're better together. Things'll cool down eventually and friends will forgive. I just know it.'
He might have already written Raven off as a returning 'friend'.
Speak of the devil...or, his previous angel? What was she doing out here?! Speedy almost called out her name, his heart-rate going through the roof. He was tripping over himself apologizing profusely in his mind before it processed that the girl was fast asleep. Slowly at first, then, steps quickening, he was above her, looking down woefully. He crouched, sitting on his heels, rubbing his neck, and began to speak softly, stopping a hand from reaching out to wipe her tear-stained cheeks.
"It's...nice to see you."
Err.
"Not like this! Ah, what'm I saying. I-I mean it's ni--good. It's good that you're up and about. I know how strong you are. I'm a weak and fickle guy, aren't I? We're nothing alike. And that's probably why opposites attracted for us; I must amuse you at least, because I still don't understand how you could ever have been as taken with me as I am wi--...as I...was..with you?"
Who was he asking? Hadn't he made his decision? Raven slept on, the distraught look frozen on her face absolutely breaking his heart.
"What I need to say is I'm sorry. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am so, so, so sorry, Raven. I'm sorry now, and I'll be sorry tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. But it will never, ever be enough. I will never be enough sorry. I will never be enough for you. I'm just not good for you, am I? I might have been but as I am now I'm..heh."
This was turning into an All About Me section in the Daily. Speedy shook his head, continuing with the dress rehearsal of his wallowing in shame before the young woman he'd wronged. His hand kept reaching out, stopping startled as her discomfited breathing would breeze over his fingers, or he caught himself in time.
"Enough about me. I wish you, you of all people involved tonight didn't have to suffer. Didn't have to get treated like this. I'm hateful for it. Despise me, abhor me. But don't for a moment think...that I was only toying with you. You were..I was...You're so very special..to me, Princess." the whispering cheater wasn't sure if he was just practicing the apology anymore.
His voice was catching. His hand made the lightest possible contact with her cheek, the cheek he had grown fold of cradling on evening meet-ups they'd have near this spot on the roof, just staring out into the stars enjoying each other's company. Talking about each other, their pasts, their futures, their present together. He wiped slowly at the yet-damp eye above the cheek cradled in his palm with his thumb. Speedy's other hand reached up and slowly removed his domino mask, blue eyes dimmed by the weight of his transgressions against this victim. He hadn't de-uniformed so many times in the same day; two was a lot, for someone trying to keep their identity under wraps who usually did most things (besides wash his face) with it on in the morning. He knew she would never see him this way, but he just wanted to have this moment to look at her, fully, openly, somehow will her to understand the rest of his feelings. It was hard to speak without his voice catching anymore.

Speedy couldn't bear to say anymore.

She was fast asleep.

Just a minute.

Could he stay here, just a minute longer?
Could he stay here, and through the osmosis of his heart through the air show her sleeping figure what he felt? Maybe her empath powers could pick up on this, somewhere in her pained expressions of slumber.

Just a minute.
Just give me a minute, Robin, Babs, he thought.

Just give me a minute.

[Bry]

She was dreaming. Had to be a dream.

Speedy was there. By her side, on the roof, where they'd been so many times before. The stars were bright and hopeful and speckled in more colors than a rainbow held. Clouds were nonexistent, and the breeze was just enough to ruffle her hair around her ears, to pull at her cloak.

Nights like this were so perfect. Always had been. Her powers hadn't once bested her on those nights in reality on the roof, and if they did escape, it was to do more good than bad. Ah, as terrible as her anger could be, her love and happiness were just as radiant, beautiful as the night sky now!

But she was dreaming.

Of course she was.

It would make sense because, though the sky was riddled with stars, the horizon was pink, unnatural and still gorgeous. A pair of butterflies flew across her field of vision, glowing and leaving little trails of fairy dust, like fluttering comets against the backdrop of the sky.

Obviously she was dreaming.

"It's.... Nice to see you."

Speedy was speaking now, and she felt something in her chest as she looked at him. Even in this place of perfection, Speedy was troubled. She heard it-- No. She felt it. As sure as she'd feel her own pain, her own terrible guilt, she could feel his. His remorse, his heart breaking, just as if it were her own under attack.

Raven frowned, her face contorting with his pain and her confusion. What was he talking about?

"What I need to say is I'm sorry...."

He was sorry.... But what could he have to apologize for? In this place, how could there be anything to be sorry about? He was there, she was there, what more was there? Raven took his hand, staring at him, but suddenly unable to see him....

".... Never be enough for you...."

What?

The butterflies landed lightly on Raven's shoulders, one on each side, but they were dim, fading, and the more Raven struggled to hold on to them, the quicker they were falling from view. And then everything else fell too. The stars went dark, the blush of the horizon wavered away, and she was left in the dark, with nothing. Speedy wasn't even there anymore.

Wasn't this a dream? Or was she awake, now?

The sound of rain filtered into her consciousness, but her eyes remained closed. A flash of lightning lightened the darkness, and then the thunder answered in turn, but she kept her eyes closed. She was awake now right? Ah, but she must be.... The pain was back. The perfection of her dreams couldn't erase it.... She wondered if it would always be there, that sting just under her skin, that ache. She felt so hollow....

"Enough about me."

Speedy's voice? No, that was wrong, she was awake.... She was sure of it....

"I wish you, you of all people involved tonight didn't have to suffer. Didn't have to get treated like this. I'm hateful for it. Despise me, abhor me. But don't for a moment think...that I was only toying with you. You were..I was...You're so very special..to me, Princess."

Something snapped as he called her 'Princess', but it was so much different than before.... This wasn't Anger. This wasn't Hate. This was.... What was this? Unfamiliar.... Somewhere between the pain she'd so quickly grown accustomed to, and comfort. This made no sense at all.

And then, so lightly she wondered if it was still but a figment of her desire, a last remnant of her dream-drowned mind, she felt his hand. He touched her cheek, so lightly, so gently, and wiped at her tears....

She couldn't help it.

Her eyes flickered open, glowing brilliant purple in the dim storm-blocked light of the stairwell. She stared directly into Speedy's eyes--Ah, was there more perfect a color of blue?!--and blinked once in surprise. His pain bled from him, his remorse written blatantly in his eyes, and the empath nature in Raven was nearly overwelmed by it.

She opened her mouth, but what would she say? What could she say? Her mind was so blank, still trying to sort out when she'd awoken, which words had been those of a dream...?

Or perhaps he'd been here all along?

[Kenni]

"--!"
This had definitely been a mistake.

Speedy fell backwards, whipping his hand behind his back and sitting on it now, eyes wide, surprised, exposed, at the girl's timely..or rather untimely awakening.

Well, at least she hadn't used her powers to tear his fingers apart for touching her. Needless to say his first reflex was to remove his hand promptly from Raven's cheek, in mid-wipe of her other eye and probably coming off as very creeperish, just crouching there in front of her face, watching her sleep.
The violet eyes that looked back at him however held not the sense of unadulterated rage and justified indignation or disgust at the mere sight of him that Speedy had predicted might surface. Instead, she almost looked...
Peaceful.
Unless it was the blankness of her mind reorganizing her anger to surface after her dreaming was done with that made it appear so. Face burning, the ginger averted his gaze at once.

Could he still ease her mind, in his sorry state?


"Did I wake you?" he breathed, finally. StupidstupidstupidstupidSTUPID. Of course he had--what was he even still doing here, asking stupid questions and not giving her any answers? Speedy should have just bolted while she was still recovering.

He got up shakily to leave, still clutching his facemask, having gotten so accustomed to having it off in the short time it had been off with the Robin confrontation that he still forgot it.

He would have to pay his dues later, unsure as he was as to how much she'd heard him gush. This was so embarrassing..

[Bry]

Raven sat a moment, stunned and stuck in her surprise, and Speedy fell backward. She stared at him, wide-eyed. How long had he been here...? Had he truly said everything she'd just heard? Or was her mind making it up to ease her haphazard thoughts?

After a moment of silence, Speedy asked, "Did I wake you?" and then he was getting up, he was leaving....

"Wait," Raven begged out of reflex, then bit her lip. What right did she have to demand he stay here? Didn't he have another girl, somewhere, that he should be getting back to? Didn't he? But he'd just said so many things, raised so many questions... She couldn't help herself as she too got to her knees and then to her feet, shivering a little and pulling her cloak around her shoulders a little tighter.

"Were you watching me sleep?" she demanded, somewhat more confused than indignant. Rain whipped with the wind, hit her sharply in the face, effectively waking her up a little more. And she realized she was still been clutching his Book of Secrets. Silently, she slid his poetry around her back, holding it just behind her, hopefully out of sight. That'd be just perfect, wouldn't it? But then, she hadn't really stolen it, just rescued it from it's trashed fate.... Either way.

One confrontation at a time.

[Kenni]

The storm was rolling in steadily.
He really ought to be downstairs helping the others.
Robin would have a fit.
None of these sentences of confrontation-aversion escaped the boy's lips. Instead, they escaped his mind altogether, as he stood there, frozen, looking anywhere but at Raven until she asked if he had been watching her, as he obviously had been.
"Yes, I was! Yeah."
What was with all the obvious questions?! And why all the stupid answers on his part!? He mentally slapped his forehead, averting his gaze again. Well. They were going to be pretty awkward around each other for the time being, all things considered. He hadn't gone flying into some random mute-space of horror again...yet..so this was a good sign.
At least he wasn't trying to lie his way out of this.
Blinking rain from his eyes and wiping the back of his hand across them, he tried to save face and rebound from it, ending up sounding like a testy mother hen instead.
"I was watching you predispose yourself to a cold!" he frowned, wagging his finger.
"It's gonna be a doozy of a storm out here, and here you are taking a nap. Can't have you getting sick on us, Pr..ahem."
With the silencing power of a thousand mental slaps, he cut himself short, tracing a circle in the ground with the tip of his boot and teeth clenched in an almost comical grin except the corners of his mouth were turned down, his eyes looking up diagonally.

[Bry]

Raven subconsciously glanced behind her, at her hiding spot. She hadn't meant to fall asleep.... But that's what tended to happen, wasn't it, when one wore oneself out under the weight of emotion.... So tiring, it was. No wonder she'd been taught to avoid it. If not to save people from her powers, to save herself from the exhaustion....

She looked back up at Speedy, unsure of how she was feeling towards the guy in front of her. So many memories of this roof, so many thoughts ran into her head, attacked her all at once so as to render her mute for a moment.

Did she still love him?

Obviously, or she wouldn't have attempted choke the life from him. Wait, no, no. Obviously, or she wouldn't have taken his book, right? Or was that some sick sense of vengeance, prying into his secrets? No, that wasn't it.... Wait, when had she decided she loved him? When had she ever admitted that before?!

/.... .... ..../

So then, did she hate him? No. Was she angry? Probably, somewhere, but that somewhere was tied down and held securely in place. She was hurt, wasn't she, so shouldn't she be giving him the silent treatment, glaring at him, or otherwise pushing him away from her?

Then why would she have asked him to stay?

Too confusing.... She couldn't handle sorting these thoughts out, decided to act on impulse, regret it later, if that happened. So long as she didn't kill anybody in the process.

Ah dark humor....

"I won't get sick," she chided him, snorting a little at his dramatic and rather forced-looking grin. "I haven't been sick in forever."

Not in the literal sense, right?

"How'd you know I was up here?" There, now that was a logical question right? Raven mentally patted herself on the back. At least she was getting somewhere other than staring and confusion.

[Kenni]

The ginger blew some wet red strands from his forehead, coming closer to Raven again if only for the same of getting out of the rain. He was beginning to get a little chilled. The wind was picking up and blew the rest of his hair out of his face for him; it was time for a trim. No, no, stay focused. Sure, she'd just given a somewhat derisive or perhaps dismissive snort of laughter at his awkward ice-breaking, but this could still potentially end badly. Stay focused, answer any and all questions, and get life back to a semblance of normalcy.
The blue eyes were able to meet the girl's own now. Speedy rocked on his heels a little.
"I only caught the end of your cape..earlier. I didn't know you were actually up here, otherwise I wou..hmn. I came up to take a break from the work downsta...hmnn. I needed a breather..! Got to higher ground to clear my head..!"
Talking about the incident and the repairs surrounding it wasn't going to make either of them feel better. Is that what this conversation was?

Some sort of hug-placebo?

[Bry]

Raven blinked at him, her head cocking ever so slightly to the side, as a new emotion waved over her.... Fear? Anxiety? She frowned, stepping back into the alcove so as to let Speedy out of the rain. Not that it would help so much, with the wind whipping the weather here and there so carelessly. It was cold out now, though it hadn't been when she'd come up. The storm was getting worse.

But, rather than address that, Raven stared straight into Speedy's eyes, trying to read him, trying to catch exactly what he might be thinking, feeling....

"Are you....?" She began, and then bit her tongue, effectively ending the 'Act on Impulse' plan. Did she want to know the answer to that question? Didn't she already know it? But still.... Her voice dropped to somewhere just above a whisper, but she knew he'd hear her over the storm, over the wind and the thunder, with him being so close now.

"Are you afraid of me, Speedy?" She hushed herself for a moment, and then looked away, mumbling now. "You have a right to be, I know, and I'm sorry for that, but it's not going to happen again.... I won't.... Lose...."

Right. Cause she was doing such a great job of tackling her emotion lately.

/Great, Raven. Way to go./

[Kenni]

Speedy gratefully came closer to her. He was beginning to get over the awkward now. Sincerely starting to hope nothing else awkward cropped up though, such as Batgirl busting through the roof-hatch next. How to explain that. But he was supposed to be trying to weasel in an apology right now, yes? His eyes lost their comical wideness and despite himself he turned Raven's shoulders to face him again as she mumbled the apology and trailed off, emphatically narrowing his eyes.
"Don't you ever apologize to someone like me, for reacting the way you did. You don't deserve to have to stoop to the point when I'm receiving any kind of apology from.."
He began to trail off himself, loosening the tight grip on her shoulders, but letting his hands stay there. She'd asked if he was afraid of her.
It wasn't a comfortable spot, his hands on her shoulders, like how Batgirl just fit in his arms.
This was...familiar. It was a growing familiarity that most guys would never be able to attain with this girl, especially if she kept having bad experiences like with Speedy. He answered truthfully; what cause had he to lie anymore? She'd gotten good enough at reading him to discern those.
"...I am. There's fear in me, regarding you. It isn't just a little bit, either. So yes, Raven. I'm afraid of..what you are capable of. But what I'm most afraid of is..not you."
Well, that wasn't entirely true. But at least at the moment, he wasn't cringing whenever she looked at him, fixed his gaze. He was only terrified when she was mid-rage, sprouting extra eyes and personalities of malicious nature to beat him down for his transgressions. At the moment, she was just a normal girl in his grasp. He spoke softly, trying to convince her that right now, if at least right now, she wasn't as scary as she might think.
"...it's me." he finished, referring to how he was ashamed of all he'd put her through in the span of the last 5 hours. He would really have to work on this 'one girl' track if he was going to make things with Barbara work. After this scare, it would be easier to imagine the consequences of what a non-gifted human girl's heart would end up as, if he were to get so seriously involved with them only to screw it all up.

[Bry]

Raven looked up at him, her eyes watering yet again, and she sniffed, angry with herself over all these tears. She couldn't go running around, making promises that she'd not lose control again, not if she kept acting like a freaking lose cannon with the waterworks....

Instead of crying though, Raven did something unthinkable. She ignored the pain Speedy had caused, ignored the little warnings in her head, telling her this was the very same person who had just broken her, ignored her residing anger.... And instead, she sighed, her breath leaving her lungs in a great rush, and let her forehead fall against his chest, seeking the comfort she'd found so many times before with him.

Vulnerable. Trusting him. As a friend, as her best friend, if nothing else anymore....

She could hardly fathom life in the Tower without him. And though it sickened her, the thought of it, if that meant she had to let him go, had to give him to Babs, what else could she do? He'd obviously chosen, hadn't he? It was that, or lose him completely....

She closed her eyes, with her head still resting against him, the blood red stone over her chakura pressing into his shirt, and resigned herself to this new relationship. He was her friend, still, wasn't he? If she could get over herself, and trust him. If she could stand the sight of him holding Babs without cringing....

Er--

Maybe she'd take it slower than that.

Slowly, she pulled back, the little black book still clutched behind her back. At least she could keep hold of the memories trapped within the book.... For some reason, she was unwilling to give it back, silently afraid that he'd disregard it as nothing.... Ah, no, she kept it hidden under her cloak.

"I--" She started, but there was nothing she could think of to say anymore, that didn't end in 'I'm sorry,' or 'I love you.'

And neither was she willing to say.... Not now.

[Kenni]

Speedy froze as her forehead made contact with his chest.

Raven was..forgiving him? No, he still had so much to try and say!
"Wait, but...I don't deserve.." well, maybe she'd heard enough of his self-beration and was sick of that. He stayed there like that with her in silence.

This was fine, wasn't it? He tried to tell his heart to calm down. She'd probably felt through his shirt, the lousy heavily thumping thing going at 100 miles per hour as she executed the unthinkable act of closeness. Was this the fabled friendzone he'd hardly been slotted to?

At least it wasn't the deadzone.

And he had to focus on Babs. He couldn't hurt her in the very same way, as if he hadn't been learning anything from this.
"You must have heard..."...all he had said? Had tried to say? Had tried to mean with every fibre of his being, as she slept? Or perhaps it had all been told by his eyes..ah, his eyes! Fumbling with his mask, he replaced it, allowing the rest of the time she spent against his chest to be spent in silence, all except for the blood pumping thunderously in his ears.

Speedy held her in that moment, quickly releasing, now awkwardly patting her back a couple of times, now stepping back once as she initiated the separation. The boy sighed, then gave her a weak smile. If this was alright with her, then he was relieved they were still on speaking terms. Couldn't they make friendship work? It didn't have to be confusing if he didn't read into things too much, and just try to do what was right. And right now, that was picking up the pieces and gluing them back together.
He spoke before she could decide whether to finish her sentence or not.
"..thank you. I feel like we've made it out of something horrible, like this storm is looking to be. Before anything, we're..friends, aren't we?" He thanked her for forgiving him, if that's what had happened before he knew what was going on.

Speedy motioned to the hatch-door, now lifting up and beckoning her to enter, smoothing his mask back into place further.
"As your friend, Your Highness, I highly suggest we get out of this horrible weather. You look like you could use a really long sleep." Tired. He was tired, yet refreshed. It wasn't the rain's doing. It was this girl before him, calm now, a little uncertain, but doing her best to give him the benefit of a doubt. Speedy vowed to her silently to never make her cry that way again.

Not like this.
Not for anything like this, ever again.

They were close; he imagined she could feel what his eyes were telling her, knowing full well mind-reading wasn't necessarily her forte, and that he'd plastered his sopping wet mask back now.

Old nicks died hard. He wasn't going to treat her much differently if he could help it. The silver-tongued rogue was still the same. A little trauma wouldn't change him, and besides, his brand of nicks were harmless...weren't they?
"And maybe when the storm has passed, and we can see the lovely stars again, things will be all good again. You rest; I..should get back to work. I'll..I'll see you,..Princess."

I can see you.
I can see you, again.
I can see you again, and the storm has passed.

Speedy backed down the hatch first to hurry off to his room, and finish up with the rest, waving to Raven the entire time.
He wondered how far the others had gotten, and expected some crazy scowling from Robin, but nothing too serious. He resumed the work, back from his fairy-tale awakening of that soggy Sleeping Beauty.

It felt good to clear the air.

[Deleted]

Beast Boy displayed an uncharacteristic, Robin-esque scowl as the storm reached the Tower. Rain drops were already beginning to soak Speedy's carpet, bed, and his variety of scattered and broken toys. His ears twitched instinctively as they were splattered with the drops of cold liquid.

Fortunately, at this point he and Batgirl had met Speedy and Robin in the middle, thus completing their work with the two by fours. The changeling cast a despairing glance outside, stifling a weary sigh. Starfire would be doing a lot of the work out there, applying the metal sheeting and other such durable materials to the outside of the hole in the Tower. With this weather though, she would need assistance with the job, and since Raven was incapacitated, Beast Boy was the best available Titan for the job. He held his chin with a gloved hand and stroked it, contemplating the best animal for the job.

He avoided looking at Speedy the entire time. The changeling knew that if he made eye contact, he would probably want to turn into something nasty and bite the poor guy's head off. Fortunately for Speedy, and Beast Boy, the archer went for a quick breather on the roof.

Beast Boy turned away from where he had been looking at the storm and asked Robin, "So, what do you need done for the outside?"